I kid you not, the following is a real SPAM that I recieved yesterday.

Subject: Don’t flood with your sperm the neighbors downstairs after using our Spermamax.

Im@gine what couId h@ppen 1f the k1ngs weren’t @ble t0 father.
Now there wouldn’t be any0ne to rule the world.
And the civilization would have died many centuries ago.
Maybe they used herbs that are enclosed
in Spermamax and thus had no problems with fertility function.
Maybe this can be a way out for you too.
She will cum only from seeing you cum with Spermamax.
Your mother has always dreamed of having sweet grandkids
but your fertility functions don’t let you make her dream come true.
Don’t worry, Spermamax will make your mom happy

First off — ew? My poor neighbors! Second, not only do they insult my “fertility functions”, but they have to bring my mom into it! Why does anyone ever buy these things?